the power of small movements

From imbalanced beginnings to dynamic stability.

I'm on a mission this year to achieve my personal goal of consistency with the things I love to do, and I believe many of you can relate to it. For me, one of those things is intentional movement. Reflecting on my journey, I've realized the importance of establishing habits that are effective for me, especially when it comes to maintaining my movement practice. I love the feeling of being healthy and happy, and despite encountering some challenges, I've found a way to stay on track and rekindle my passion for movement. By sharing some of the highs and lows of my journey, I hope to provide you with valuable resources that have helped me overcome obstacles and offer reflections on how we can encourage balanced wellness in ourselves and our communities.

For me, intentional movement might look like going for a run and lifting weights, and sometimes it looks like dancing in my living room, taking a walk in nature, or simply stretching. It's not necessarily always about a structured workout or breaking a sweat. Instead, what’s important to me is to find ways of moving my body in a way that feels good to me. As someone who loves to move, I've come to realize that there's a profound feeling of happiness that comes with using my muscles and exploring my body's capabilities. What has helped me the most to maintain the practice is coming to the conclusion that the goal is to feel alive and connected to my body.

Although I lead a pretty sedentary lifestyle working behind a computer for many hours of the day, people worldwide approach physical activity much differently. For many individuals, their workday involves regular physical activity, including those in occupations such as farming, construction, postal work, and warehousing, where movement is integrated into their daily lives. People who work in physical labor often do not need to exercise separately because they get a significant amount of their daily required movement through their work.

While everyday movement can provide many health benefits and meet requirements, it's essential to recognize that intentional movement is different from everyday movement: it helps us build a special connection between our mind and body. Even our ancestors, who were much more active in their everyday lives, still had intentional movement practices to achieve balance of the mind, body, and spirit. Some well-known examples of these ancient movement practices are yoga, tai chi, qigong, capoeira, and hula. Although I may not have the same level of physical activity as my ancestors or time for long workout sessions every day, my goal is to incorporate enjoyable and intentional movements into my daily routine to achieve that balance.

Recently, I’ve been going for a walk when I wake up. It rained last night where I live, and I thought it would be cold and miserable outside. I woke up feeling tired and inflexible, and the last thing I wanted to do was go for a walk in the cold. Instead of walking, I decided that I would do some light stretching. When I stepped outside to check the weather, the sun was coming up, the birds were singing, and the refreshing scent of damp earth was so inviting. I went outside and stretched while the sun was still low. In the cool, humid air, I completed a variety of stretches and felt so much more energized than when I woke up. It was a beautiful moment spent moving my body and connecting with nature.

Staying consistent with movement is not always easy, though. There have been many days when it has felt particularly challenging. Over the last few months, there have been times when I've been sick and lacked the energy to move, and instances where past trauma has affected my mental health and made movement feel impossible. I've noticed that if my mind or body is struggling, finding motivation or desire can be difficult. I've learned that even on tough days, as hard as it can feel, it's essential to be kind and compassionate with oneself. It's okay to take a break and rest when needed. Taking small steps, like gentle stretching or going on a short walk outside, has improved my mental and physical well-being.

When I started the year, I had big ambitions like many people who seek to make changes at the beginning of the year. The plan felt simple. I'd start martial arts classes, get a gym membership, run most days of the week, and eat enough calories daily to fuel all of this new movement. From January to the end of February, I was attending muay thai every weekend, going to the gym at least 3 times a week, and making it outside for sunset runs most nights of the week. This felt amazing, but the one thing I wasn't doing was nourishing my body before and after all of this activity. Martial arts take so much energy, and I would rush out to class with barely a glass of water and an apple.

In addition to not eating enough food, I was stressed. I was packing my days full and staying up late. I had projects piling up, and no energy to handle them all. I hit a point at the beginning of March where my body told me it couldn't take the stress anymore. After returning home from a trip, I got sick. It wasn't bad, it wasn't COVID, but it left me feeling exhausted. In the time it took me to rest and recover, I fell out of every movement habit that I had created since the beginning of the year.

At first, it wasn't easy to be compassionate with myself. Anytime I felt the guilt or shame of discontinuing the consistency I had developed, I would remind myself of how important it was to take my time and heal. Then, I began to reflect on how I got sick. I thought of all the days I would stress to fit physical activity that I was not properly fueling for into days that were already full of important responsibilities. Our health is often a signal of how we are managing our lives, and mine was signaling that something needed to change.

Over the whole month of March and most of April, I let myself take a break. It was hard to sit back and watch all of my routines slip away. My birthday was in March, and with that came so many reflections and some more stress. I reflected on what I find important: the people who I share love with, the earth and our natural world, living a healthy lifestyle, understanding the complexities of this universe, and sharing my voice with those who listen. After all of these reflections, what I had left was melancholy. It felt as if I was disconnected from what I found most crucial in my life. At this point, I knew that movement would give me some sense of connection, at least to my body, but I was barely eating enough to have energy to get off of the couch, let alone box or run.

Falling into episodes of depression is not uncommon for me. Feelings like this have gotten in the way of me living the lifestyle I dream of since I can remember. This time, though, I did something different. I told some of my close friends that I was feeling low and lacking energy. This is something I never used to do, and it allowed me to be honest not only with others about what was going on but also with myself.

When I did this, I was able to receive advice, love, support, encouragement, meals, and motivation from my community in a way I had never allowed myself to ask for before. It was humbling, but I think it changed me in a really big way.

Being humbled a bit seemed to be a step in the right direction for getting my executive functioning to pick me off the couch. At this point, my sleep schedule was way off, my appetite and eating habits were screwed, I was feeling weak and inflexible again, and I was struggling to keep up with work. But with the little bit of energy I was able to muster, I got to work to get my life back together. With plenty of time to reflect, I knew what I wanted, and I knew some techniques on how to get it. I just had to make myself actually do it.

I started by eating full meals again. As much as I love cooking, the task felt daunting, so at first, I ate out a lot. After losing so much energy from not eating enough to match my physical activity, I knew I had to get my nourishment practice down before incorporating movement again. I started cooking again and allowed myself to fall back in love with the process of slowing down multiple times a day to fuel my body.

Once I got back into a groove with my eating, I focused on moving my body a little bit at a time. I wasn't going to the gym or going on runs, but I was going for walks around my house and doing light workouts with a 5lb kettle-bell. It felt simple, but I kept reminding myself that there is no shame in starting small. The next thing I did was create a schedule for myself. I was tired of sleeping in every day, and I wanted to feel like I had some order in my life again. I set alarms for when I'd wake up, when I'd work, when I'd eat, when I'd go to bed, and alarms for much in-between, like self-care and time to be creative. I don't stick to this alarm schedule strictly, but it helps to keep me on track and remind me multiple times a day of what is important to me.

I even set an alarm for when I would move after work. I've heard that building new habits can be supported by doing things at the same time every day, so that is what I have been doing for the past couple of weeks to rebuild my movement practice. I do something light in the morning and try to break a sweat in the evening if I have the energy after work. I've been getting back into my yoga practice, building muscle, enjoying walks at sunset, joining (and kinda failing) fitness challenges with my friends, and enjoying all of it.

What made the biggest difference between the beginning of the year and now is that I have built myself a foundation that can support the movements I want to do. Even though I knew it didn't feel balanced before, finding that balance was something I had never done before because I didn't have the background or knowledge to know how to do it. I have always loved to move my body, but now I feel like I am doing so in a way that is sustainable and practical for my life and body. Balancing all of the aspects of movement is a task still in progress, but I am grateful to be learning. I hope that I can learn to apply aspects of this practice to the other areas of my life that I want to grow consistent in.

Intentional movement has greatly impacted my overall well-being. I have found that even light movement can relieve my symptoms of anxiety and depression. While physical activity may not be a cure-all for everyone, multiple studies have shown a positive correlation between movement and mental health. Incorporating brief periods of movement has significantly improved my own well-being. This has reminded me that self-care doesn't have to involve intense exercise, but can begin with intentional movements that work for my body and lifestyle.

It’s crucial to acknowledge the various hardships that can prevent individuals from engaging in physical activity. For some, lacking motivation or energy can be a significant barrier, while others face environmental or systemic disadvantages that have limited their access to safe and welcoming spaces for moving their bodies. Gym memberships and movement classes can be expensive, many don't have the space in their homes or equipment to do what they want, it can be challenging to find parks and open space, especially in big cities, and the outdoor recreation community is incredibly exclusive. Physical limitations like being in a wheelchair or experiencing chronic pain can also pose challenges for those who want to move.

This is the first year that I have tried to afford memberships to gyms, but honestly, I couldn't do it. I canceled my gym membership this month and am just waiting for the moment when I feel like I have budgeted enough to join my boxing gym again. Yoga classes were really valuable to me right after I experienced some trauma last year, but I couldn't keep going to those spaces because of how culturally insensitive some spaces and instructors can be. I feel extremely privileged to have space at home and a little bit of equipment to move my body without those facilities, but I don't want to disregard the difficulties I have faced trying to be intentional with my movement.

Besides being grateful for the ability to move my bodies, it is important for me to actively acknowledge that being physically capable and able to move our bodies is a privilege that not everyone has. As such, I find it a personal responsibility to advocate for equitable access to movement opportunities for everyone. Advocating for equitable access to movement for all not only benefits those who face barriers but also promotes a culture of inclusivity and well-being.

If you're struggling to get started moving for whatever reason, remember that the goal is simply to find an activity that brings you joy and helps you feel connected to your body, even if it seems small or simple. If you are feeling uninspired to move but want to, think about why moving is important to you to give yourself a goal and some purpose. Don't worry about making it a daily routine or pushing yourself too hard. Just focus on doing something that makes you feel good.